Fishy.

This is the kind of story that only gets play because it's a "us vs. them" kind of thing...and because it's STILL creepy that Catherine Zeta-Jones is married to the fossil that is Michael Douglas. But, since the press still keeps talking about John Edwards haircut, perhaps this will at the least take some attention away from that.

While most of us have to make do with a handful of fragrant soapy foam, the Welsh actress smears on truffles and caviar.

At £200 a time, just for the fish eggs, looking good does not come cheap.

But she credits the gourmet delights for giving her long brown tresses an unbeatable shine.

The Beluga caviar is apparently flown in from Iran five days ahead of her treatments at a beauty salon in South Kensington.

"Catherine discovered the caviar treatment last summer and was astounded by the difference it made to her hair," said a source.

"She has an incredibly rich and vibrant natural hair colour but the creamy, almost oily nature of caviar really brings this out, making the colour even richer and making it so much more glossy.

"The eggs are packed with omega-3 fatty acids necessary for the formation of structural proteins. It is these proteins that repair dry and damaged hair and smooth over any split ends."

I mean, Good Christ. Isn't this taking the diva-ness to a pathetic level? People can piss away their money any way that they like, but this is just so pretentious I can't believe it. There's NO way this makes her hair any better - it makes her ego a lot better though. What a preposterous blowhard.