Irresponsible NFL Predictions
Why predict logical things when getting goofy is so much more fun?
While we are still barely halfway through the regular NFL season, it’s never too early to start thinking about what we are learning and how that will impact the off-season. So, here are a few completely irresponsible predictions.
Yes, Tom Brady will retire after this year - not a shocking prediction. But it says here that Aaron Rodgers does the same. He looks miserable, even when he’s winning. If he doesn’t retire, I predict he forces a trade to … the Las Vegas Raiders. Oh, and it goes without saying that even if Brady has a full retirement party AND the 49ers win the Super Bowl, there will still be rumors of him coming to San Francisco.
The 49ers - MY 49ers that is - are looking good, almost as good as their QB, Jimmy Garoppolo. (I know, I know - it’s a bit.) But unless the team wins a Super Bowl with him this year - for sure something that’s still possible - he’s going to test free agency next spring. And I think he ends up as a New York Jet. That team is good and has a very, very not good QB in Zach Wilson. I can easily see coach Robert Saleh wanting to reunite with a guy who can get them into a deep playoff run. Side note - can you imagine how New York would eat up Jimmy G? Sheesh.
Speaking of New York, I’m not even sure how wild this is of a prediction - but the Giants are going to franchise Daniel Jones. Yes, the guy who they didn’t exercise their fifth year option on is going to earn something close to $31,500,000 for the 2023 season. How can’t they? The Giants are probably the best story of the 2022 season, and a lot would have to go wrong for them to miss the playoffs. Jones hasn’t been lighting the world on fire but he also has been fairly competent at leading this team. They won’t have a chance to draft an elite replacement at QB and probably should divert their free agency budget elsewhere - signing a vet will cost a lot more than $31.5MM as it will be a multi-year contract. Also, who else could they sign? Aside from Garoppolo - who must be aware that he’s truly going to cash in - the best possible free agent QB is … Daniel Jones!
It feels impossible to make a prediction without involving the obnoxious Dallas Cowboys, so here goes - the team cuts bait with stone pony Ezekiel Elliott, who they signed to an unreasonable contract that no longer makes sense. They have their first out this offseason, so the timing is right. And, they will … double down and make the same mistake again, signing Tony Pollard (an unrestricted free agent) to a new, onerous RB contract that will probably look pretty bad in two or three years.
Finally, one more prediction that doesn’t even feel that daring - the Washington Commanders will be sold this offseason, likely to Jeff Bezos and others (including potentially Jay-Z). They will, in short order, change the name to something much less idiotic AND recklessly spend in free agency and/or trading, offering namebrand players well beyond their sale date like J.J. Watt far too much money to extend their careers. It’s not unreasonable that they could offer Saquon Barkley so much money that he can’t refuse it.
