The Bizarre Saga of Starry

What's Starry? You know it, even if you don't.

I’ve dramatically stopped drinking soda these days, for a variety of reasons mostly related to the fact I’m a creaky old man who doesn’t need yet another bad habit. But I’m utterly fascinated by what’s happened with one particular soda.

The story I had heard, which caused me to deep dive this, was that there was someone named Ciera Mist who sued Pepsi and got a name change from Sierra Mist. That is, categorically, not true. It’s POSSIBLE that Pepsi sued this Instagram influencer who spells her “name” slightly different - and it’s also more possible that she’s both batshit crazy and incredibly annoying from what I can tell. But, it did get me thinking.

Because Sierra Mist isn’t the original name of this soda. Way back when in the Stone Age, there was a soda called Slice. It competed against the popular lemon-lime sodas of Sprite and 7-UP, two products I almost assuredly don’t need to introduce you to.

Slice actually came in multiple flavors like Orange Slice, as well as others, making it more of a Fanta competitor than against the lemon-lime flavor, which perhaps speaks to its odd positioning in the market. I’m here to tell you that Slice was delicious. I drank this shit UP.

And then, suddenly, it was gone and something called Sierra Mist was on the shelves. I’m not a discerning enough taster to know if it was exactly the same formula as Slice, but according to this article, even if it started that way, that changed quickly as Pepsi, the owner of this brand, kept tinkering with it.

I might be part of the problem, because I never really had a Sierra Mist (I’m sure I did, but not intentionally). It’s a fairly dumb name. (Is it the dumbest? Nope - hold on for just a moment.) I’ve spent a lot of time in the Sierra mountains. The mist there? It’s not something I’d want to drink. But I’m glad someone got paid to think that one up. (Apparently it was also briefly rebranded as Mist Twist, then back to Sierra Mist. Stuff got crazy over there.)

In any case, if you were or are a fan of Sierra Mist, I have some more troubling news for you, perhaps spoiled by the introduction to this post. It’s gone.

In its place is … Starry.

This, apparently, is NOT the same as Sierra Mist with a new label. And while i know brand marketing is almost intentionally silly, just try to read this with a straight face:

Starry is for “a consumer who is simultaneously optimistic about the future and brings a sense of irreverence to their everyday." Additionally, the soda's aesthetic is described as "bright, optimistic, and rooted in culture and fun.” … “The design of Starry is much more aligned with the Gen-Z aesthetic, which is bright, fun, whimsical, Instagram-able, than many of Pepsi’s other offerings," he said.

I don’t know if YOU make purchase decisions for a refreshing beverage based on what is more or less Instagram-able, but perhaps this more aligns with the “Gen-Z aesthetic.” To wit, the starrylemonlime Instagram account posts things like this which seem designed to make olds like me confused, and a little angry.

So, to back track, Slice was born. Then Slice begat Sierra Mist, which begat Starry. This feels like we’ve made a problem much, much harder than it needs to be.