Things That Need To Stop
These things most definitely do not slap. Don't be these people.
This post is dedicated to things that on their own aren’t apocalyptic, but they need to stop. Way, way too many people do these things, and its not good.
If you are one of these people, you need to check yourself and do better.
People who not only drive below the speed limit, but drive at 20-25 mph in non-school zones. I’m assuming everyone doing this is either under the haze of some serious medication, over the age where they should be driving, or maybe texting on their cellphone. Regardless, it’s SO hard to drive responsibly behind you. (Actual studies have suggested that slow drivers cause more accidents than those speeding, though its often other cars that get in accidents by trying to move around those turtles.) I don’t even know how anyone can drive that slow and not go crazy. Please stop - just like there is a speed limit, there’s also a speed that is so slow it creates problems for others. Don’t be this person.
People who text or IM you when you are literally ONE minute late for a work meeting. “Just checking to see if you are going to attend?” isn’t as professional and innocent sounding as you think it is, it’s passive-aggressive on steroids and its infuriating. I don’t like to be late for meetings. I try very hard NOT to be. Indeed, I think I’m not just punctual, I’m usually early for almost everything. If I’m running late, I should be called on it. But one minute late? That’s preposterous. This has happened to me at work a few too many times, and the only way I could respond was by joining the meeting and saying, “Hey, so sorry for being ONE minute late, my apologies.” That’s better than my immediate reaction (which doesn’t reflect well on me), which was to take a few more minutes before joining, simply out of spite. First, don’t be late. But if someone else is RUNNING late, give him or her a chance, okay?
You’re over 45 seconds late! THE HORROR People who don’t know how to travel. I do get that many people very rarely fly these days (or ever). Many people got out of practice with COVID and are just starting to get back in the swing of things. Even putting aside folks who recline in Economy Class, there are some other things that should draw automatic violations. Someone needs to be handing out yellow and red cards for people who:
Block the aisle while they SLOWLY not just put their bag(s) in the overhead, but then take out what they’ll be needing during the flight. Step into your seat, you’re blocking EVERYONE.
Try to jump the line to board the plane. There’s a boarding order, and it’s all we have left to keep our society (that is, the folks taking this trip on the same plane) together. Yes, we don’t board planes in the most logical order, it’s true. But when you have a giant 6 on your ticket and it’s boarding group 2? Make a hole, we’re coming through.
These are the same people, I suspect, who jump up immediately after the plane lands - even before the cabin door is open. I’ve often had to wait for that person to sit back down before we can even taxi to the runway because guess what? It’s super dangerous and also gets you NOTHING. I’ve been late for flights, too. Just try and behave like an adult.
Open all the closed overhead bins trying to find space for your luggage. They’re closed because they’re full. You lost. You might have to check your bag, my guy.
There’s a whole other list here. Taking your shoes off immediately and exposing your bare feet to everyone. (I don’t know why it’s so much worse than wearing sandals, but it is.)
Hogging the armrest, especially from someone in the middle seat. Not even trying to soothe your unhappy child. (I don’t have ANY hate for people traveling with kids, it’s insanely hard. I’ve been there. But just giving up and letting them annoy the entire flight is an abdication of duty, and I won’t hear it.) Somewhere, somehow, we need training for air travel. Or, we need to give the air marshals - who I’m told are on my flights - additional duties.
OK, I’ve officially hit enough to be categorized as an angry old man, cursing at kids to get off his lawn. What grinds your gears? What kind of things need to stop for you?