Todd Helton has an Owwie

Of the many reasons why I'd like to be a professional baseball player (competition, low injury risk, money, fame, being able to play a sport for a living, dating Alyssa Milano), the fact that these guys routinely sit out games because of "flu-like" symptoms. I've always chalked that up to mean "hungover," and it's a great reason to do nothing while being paid, often, tens of thousands of dollars for THAT GAME.

Today, Todd Helton, Rockies 1B, sat out because of a headache.

The lineup was switched when first baseman Todd Helton was scratched with a headache. “I don’t feel good at all,’’ said Helton, who looked like he hadn’t slept.

Look, I understand that migraines are unbelievably painful. Crippling, even. But I have to think that were this an actual migraine, it would have said so.

I think Todd's head just hurt.

Per ESPN, Todd makes $16,600,000 this season. (I'll pause while you collect yourself.) That's $102,469 PER GAME. So, Todd got paid over a hundy today to sleep off a headache.

The word you are searching for is...Sigh.