Why is golf so frustrating?

I mean, it's amazing. But also...why? WHY?

Here’s a news flash for you all - I’m pretty into golf. I know, I know - I’ll wait for you to catch your breath and adjust.

We good? So, yeah. I love golf. Golf does not always love me, but that’s (DORKY GOLF PUN ALERT! DORKY GOLF PUN ALERT!) par for the course, isn’t it? (I’m so sorry.) I played this weekend and we were talking about how frustrating it is to see someone pick up clubs for the first time and have success.

Think about that - it’s FRUSTRATING for veteran golfers to see someone immediately do well at this. That’s a sickness. I think I said, only sort of jokingly, “Golf isn’t supposed to be FUN, what the F*CK?” Meanwhile, my game was in absolute shambles - it was only after I just decided to stop keeping score that I sort of found a bit of my swing.

And then, lying in bed that night I started thinking about how unfocused I was during the round and how I really hadn’t done a LOT of what is needed to do before making a swing.

Golf looks pretty simple - there’s a ball that’s just sitting on the ground and all you have to do is make contact with your club face and it will, generally, go towards the direction you want it. But…misses of incredibly small amounts - whether that’s where the ball hits the club, or the angle of the club itself upon impact - can have a massive result. Adam Young presented this photo which should basically send terror up any golfers spine:

Cool cool cool

With the understanding that a lot of the below simply HAS to become muscle memory since no human being can go through all these steps on each shot without a) going insane and b) taking so long as to violate any pace of play standards, let alone your playing partners enjoyment … here’s what really goes into your basic golf shot.

1. What is your lie like? Is the ball in the rough? If so, is there grass on the back of the ball? Is it sitting down or propped up a bit? Is it in the fairway? Does that make it better, or scarier if it’s mowed especially tight? Is it your tee shot? How high are you teeing it up?

   

2. Check your grip. I admit I really don’t do this at all - it’s something I know isn’t great, but there’s too much else to focus on. I’ve changed my grip in the past and it’s like deciding to write in cursive with your non-dominant hand. It’s not fun.

   

3. Where are you aiming? This seems intuitive but wait! First, if you are looking at your target, remember that the ball is a bit farther away from you so unless you want to land that same distance away from your target you need to adjust. But…DO you want to aim right at the pin? Probably not. There are hazards set up to penalize mishits for specifically that kind of aggressive behavior. If it’s a layup, where would you rather hit your next shot from? Where’s the best miss - left or right?

   

   From Golf Magazine. I swear these things are designed to make you go crazy.

4. What’s your stance like? Is the lie on a slant uphill or downhill? You should align your spine in the same way. What about your posture? Where have you positioned the ball between your feet? If you’re on a big uphill, have you factored in that you’re increasing the loft of your club?

5. How do you want the ball to fly here? Can you put a fade or a draw on the ball intentionally? If so, great - think about that with your stance, ball position and of course your swing. If you can’t, where are you trying to end up - and is there anything in your way? Again, where’s the better miss?

6. Is your clubface squared up? Assuming you want it to be (a better golfer might intentionally open or close their face, I’m just trying to keep mine square), is it? My irons (and all PING irons) have a white line at the bottom of the clubface to help with this. If you knew how rarely I actually USE this incredibly helpful feature, you’d be embarrassed for me.

Why use something so incredibly helpful? Sigh.

7. What club are you gonna hit? How far are you trying to get the ball to travel in the air? Are you hoping it will then roll out, or stop fairly quickly? What’s the wind like? If the distance is right in between two clubs, are you going to swing harder with one or take something off the other? Hey, by the way…do you ACTUALLY know how far your clubs actually go? If you’re not at your regular home course, is the elevation different? Is it colder or warmer than usual? All of that will change your distance.

8. Do you have a preshot routine? Do you know why you should? What is it?

Oh…and don’t forget that none of the above REALLY even addresses hitting out of a bunker or putting. So, there’s that.

It’s sort of a miracle there aren’t more complete nervous breakdowns on the golf course.

But it’s also probably why, in those rare moments where you make perfect contact, and the ball flies the way you were hoping, and it feels idyllic upon impact, that you keep coming back. Because that’s the stuff.